


The Army of the Undead

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [210]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, chatroom shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 08:44:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3722563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Phil has fans and they call themselves the army of the undead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Army of the Undead

**Headline: The Avengers has done it again! Dr. Doom says Hello to his old cell mate.**

* * *

_The Army of the Undead (16,789,343 members)_

_Coulfan357:_ Was he there?!

 _SonOfCoul22:_ When is he never there?

 _Coulfan357:_ Not my point, Maddie. I’m asking if anyone saw him there. I need answers!

 _CoulDigger69:_  I was there! *flails* He was so awesome. Just seeing him in person was enough to make me swoon. I wanna marry him.

 _IronAss454_ : Sarah please. You’re already married.

 _Coulfan357_ : Pics or it didn’t happen.

 _CoulDigger69_ : -CoulDigger69 has attached images. Download?-

 _CoulDigger69:_  Shut up Andrew. I see you slobbering all over him. You can’t tell me it’s not the same. 

 _IronAss454:_  Hey. Unlike you, I’m single. Besides, I’ve already named our future children. If its a girl, we’ll name her Nicole. If it’s a boy, Kyle. It’s pretty, don’t you think? I’m his soul mate. We’re meant for each other.

 _SonOfCoul22:_ You are dreaming! In what world is he going to name his child Nicole? Besides, how are you going to have children with him? You don’t exactly have the right organs there.

 _IronAss454:_  It’s called true love, ass hat. oh, and you know. Adoption. Idk, we’ll find a way. I will have his babies.

 _Coulfan357:_  Topic of pointless pining and family planning aside, Let’s get to the nitty gritty. We have here 57 completely unusable photos. 36 of which are too blurry to distinguish. 10 are of his back. and the other 11 are selfies with said backs. 

 _CoulDigger69:_  What can I say, I was too excited to take proper pictures. I’m sorry?

 _SonOfCoul22:_ It’s okay, we understand how you feel. We’ve all had that one shining moment where we see him in passing or in action and we just get so flustered we don’t know what to do.

 _IronAss454:_  Not a very attractive quality in a woman.

 _Coulfan357:_ Living up to your handle much?

 _IronAss454:_ Saying it like it is.

 _CoulDigger69:_ Oh, please. You’ve never once seen him in person and flailed?

 _IronAss454:_  Nope. I’m smooth like that.

 _Coulfan357:_ Which is IronAss-ese for, I’ve never seen him in person.

 _CoulDigger69:_ OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!!

 _IronAss454:_ I have to! 

 _SonOfCoul22_ : Oh yeah? Time and Date? Evidence? We. Want. Details.

 _IronAss454:_  I was manning the register at Starbucks. He walked in all swagger and no care in the world. And he walks up to me and says “1 of the strongest, blackest coffee you have.” And at that moment I swear, I was in love. 

 _CoulDigger69_ : I’ve read that before…. Was it from a fanfiction?

 _Coulfan357_ : You Ass. Have you no shame?

 _IronAss454:_ Sadly, I had that removed when I was 5. 

_DatHawkGuy joined the conversation._

_Coulfan357:_  When I’m done with you, you’ll wish you had it removed. 

 _SonOfCoul22_ : Hey. New guy!

 _DatHawkGuy:_  Waddup.

 _Coulfan357:_ This isn’t over, IronAss.

 _IronAss454:_ You bet your sweetcheeks it ain’t over, sourball.

 _CoulDigger69:_ The sky. The roof. The prices of capitalism.

 _DatHawkGuy:_ lolFunny.

 _Coulfan357:_  I’ll still see you this weekend, right?

 _IronAss454:_  Of course. I’m bringing Coleslaw, btw.

 _Coulfan357:_ Ooh, Did someone ask DatHawkGuy if he was there today?

 _DatHawkGuy_ : Where?

 _Coulfan357:_ Downtown today. There was a kerfuffle with the Avengers. We need Coulson Juice.

 _DatHawkGuy:_ Oh. Yea. wait.

 _DatHawkGuy:_ \- DatHawkGuy has attached images. Download?-

 _Coulfan357:_ OH. MY. GOD.

 _SonOfCoul22:_ Whateven is this?! HoWD YOU GET SO FUCKING CLOSE TO THEM.

 _IronAss454:_ PHOTOSHOP!

 _CoulDigger69:_ I’m printing all of these.

 _Coulfan357_ : You even have Hawkeye in some of them. *cri* 

 _DatHawkGuy:_  It’s no big deal. I’m pretty tight with Hawkeye’s husband… so…

 _SonOfCoul22:_ NO. FUCKING. WAY.

 _Coulfan357:_ Hold the fuck up. HAWKEYE’S HUSBAND?!

 _IronAss454:_ Wat.

 _CoulDigger69:_ Hawkeye is taken?!?!?!?!?!

 _DatHawkGuy:_ Umm… Yeah?

 _DatHawkGuy: -_ DatHawkGuy has attached images. Download?-

 _CoulDigger69_ : HOLY MOTHER.

 _IronAss454:_ PHOTOSHOP.

 _Coulfan357:_ Is that PHILLIP J> COULSON?!?!#R!

 _CoulDigger69:_  That’s Coulson!! 

 _CoulDigger69_ : Coulson is kissing Hawkeye!

 _CoulDigger69_ : Coulson is kissing Hawkeye in a tux.

 _CoulDigger69_ : OHMYGOD. THEY’RE KISSING AT A WEDDING>

 _CoulDigger69:_ This is better than Christmas and my birthday rolled into one.

 _SonOfCoul22_ : It’s fucking Canon!!!!!!

 _SonofCoul22:_ My Shipper Feels.

 _IronAss454:_ Nope. I refuse to believe it.

 _Coulfan357:_ Believe it. He was never yours, Andrew.

 _IronAss454_ : LIES. STOP SPOUTING LIES, CAROLINE.

 _SonOfCoul22_ : You two are the WEIRDEST couple I know.

* * *

“What are you doing?” Phil wrapped his arms around Clint so that he was draped over the archer while Clint was on the computer.

“Just saying hello to the fans.” Clint turned his head to smile at Coulson. 

“Mmm. That sounds like work. I thought we said no work this weekend.”

Clint grinned at his husband, kissing him once on the cheek. “You’re right. I’ll turn it off.”

* * *

 _DatHawkGuy:_ I gotta go. MY Husband needs me in bed with him. ;)

_DatHawkGuy logged out._

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/116107011736/tomorrow-im-going-watch-daredevil-hanna)


End file.
